ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
