escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
