WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
