Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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