She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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