Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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