Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
