Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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