you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
