shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
