Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
