please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
