Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
