and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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