so let's talk penis.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
