week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
