I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
