Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
