my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
