Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
