a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
