Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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