He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
