clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
