So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
