she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
