so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he thought i was a dude.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
