I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
