Can Purell be used as lube?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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