I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
