I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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