I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
