yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
In America we eat man semen.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
