Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
