It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
