Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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