You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She told me I should be a condom model.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
