well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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