I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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