It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Randomize
