very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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