office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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