Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
