hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
