That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
