Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize