do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
