Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
