yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
