So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
