Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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