If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
