i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
50% drunk capacity currently
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
