before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
