Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
