ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Be still, my beating vagina.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
