apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
