I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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